Main Member
She who rules the forum
Location: Misery... I mean... Missouri
Posts: 1834
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 Reviewing Something Unexpected: Men
I might only be 23, but I've had some experience with men that has shown me both the good and the bad.
I learned in high school about the bad, I saw a lot of it. I learned about bullies, stalkers, morons, idiots and assholes.
I'll start with the first, Bullies. Because I was different, I was often picked on. I learned I could fit snugly inside my locker. I often experienced getting hit, having things thrown at me, and having things swiped from me. I started keeping a jar with a spider in my purse so that when people reached in they got bit. It began to work after a while, I stopped loosing my lunch money. On the bus I got picked on even more. The bus driver encouraged it, but the bus driver was female, so that story is for another day. To shorten the four years of torment, I will say that I always had bruises, and my most frequent emotions involved tears. My coping method involved a razor blade, but this isn't about me, so that too will wait.
Next on the list is Stalkers. I heard the stories of others often, and in my junior year I experienced it myself. It started at a dance, when an ex-boyfriend introduced me to one of his friends. I agreed to one slow dance, and to get to know him after, but I soon regretted it. During the dance, he was trying to reach in my pants and under my shirt, and somewhat succeeded a couple of times. It was horrible, having someone I had only met attempting to molest me. He also held tight so that I could not pull away. A friend saw my distress and 'accidentally' tripped into him, knocking him away. I fled to the girls restroom to hide, and he stayed right outside. A friend came to talk to me, and even a stranger tried to comfort me. My friend went out to tell him to leave me alone, that I did not want to date him after his disrespectful treatment. Over the next few weeks I was often late for class because of the need to hide in restrooms when he followed me. I had a friend hand him notes telling him to leave me alone, and that if he ever followed me home and attempted to get in my home, he would pay the price that trespassers like that deserved. When he was bragging about a 'love note' to classmates, the note got reported as a threat and I was sent to the principals office for the mention of a gun. I explained the situation and pointed out in the note that I did mention the stalking and harassment, but I still got detentions. They also issued him a mild warning. It didn't help. The principal had told me I should have come to them with the issue, but they failed to remember how much I hated the principal because of prior issues with him, which I will get to later. Eventually the stalker found a new target, and I finally had the freedom from the unwanted attention. But the experience left me troubled for some time, and I have since remained a touch 'iffy' about that type of attention.
Now we reach the topic of Morons and Idiots. I have known more of these than most other categories, as almost all men fall under this in some way. There are rare exceptions, but I'll reach that later as well. I knew of many of these, one who I spent a great deal of time around out of pity. I even sorta-dated him twice, but I'm not sure it even counts- I wouldn't even kiss him. And again, this was out of sheer pity. He had few friends, and lacked basic knowledge on proper interaction with other human beings. He felt the need to hug everyone at total random, and was more than once accused of sexual harassment because of it. Those who knew him knew it was fairly innocent. However, he was so very stupid, he even had an inappropriate relationship with his sister at one point. Seriously, wtf? Anyway, that was the worst of the morons, but there were many others. Those who insult individuals with intelligence qualify, many who do not think before acting. A good example is when two men went into "POOH'S CORNER" in St. Louis and attempted to rob it. As many of us St. Louisians know, POOHS stands for Police Officer's Official Hiding Spot. T-shirts with that on it are sold just inside. One individual was shot square in the ass, the other was stopped less than a block away. I could go on for hours, but I will leave it with these couple examples.
Finally we reach the Assholes. There are almost as many of these as there are morons and idiots. I will use one example, as my rants will no doubt eventually cover many others. The example I use today is an ex-coworker. This asshole would constantly attempt to weasel his work off onto others. He would hesitate to do anything because he knew that I would have to do some because if everything wasn't done, both got in trouble, not just one. It was exhausting. Now this cocky bastard didn't stop there. When he did work, he did not put things where they belonged, he stuffed them in random places so it would seem done, without being done properly. It took me months to fix everything after he was gone. Why he is gone does not have to do with his lack of work ethic. One day when he was feeling especially cocky, he decided to not only leave me to do the work, he tried to show me a pornography site on the work computers, and he touched my ass. Considering the experience with the stalker, you can imagine the effect it had on me. I reported this... however... it was just arranged that we did not work at the same time. Meaning that someone at the main office is also an asshole, or perhaps just a moron. His second offense is when he was fired, he began to make fun of a kid who came to the library frequently. He would pretend to put books away on the opposite shelf and start his insults and pestering. After that, he was finally fired. So I no longer deal with that asshole.
Now, seeing as this is a review, not a rant, it is important that I cover the good, not just the bad. And while the good is far fewer than any one of the previous groups, it is important, and there is plenty to say about it.
For the good, I will focus on one of the best I've seen. I am, of course, speaking of my boyfriend, my wonderful Fuzzeh Polar Bear.
Where to begin when there is so much good to say... How about that which I find so very attractive. Not everyone is attracted by the same things. For me, it is intelligence. And my bear is brilliant. He always has good ideas, he has a wide vocabulary, can spell, knows grammar, and is annoyed by idiots. And only the intelligent can be annoyed by the stupid. He can think fast, and follow my own speedy thoughts, which few can do. He learns fast when I talk about things he doesn't already know, further proving his intelligence. And he is willing to learn about the things that interest me that he doesn't have much prior knowledge on. So he is an anti-moron, an anti-idiot.
He is understanding, another one of those rarer qualities. He listens when I need to talk, comforts when I am sad, and makes me laugh when I need it most. He is not pushy, having perfect understanding of when things should be slow and when things can be quicker. Yes, it is possible for men to have the better qualities. Not all are in those above categories.
He knows when to be mean too. He won't take shit from people, he won't tolerate those of the categories above. If someone were to insult me, he would be defensive. He is honest, he tells me when writing or art needs improvement, and compliments the better aspects of it as well. Because he is willing to say what is lacking, it allows me to improve, but he can also point out these flaws in a way that is not rude or insulting. But he can be very insulting to those who deserve it. A perfect balance. We think alike, share hobbies and think on the same wave length. Most Excellent.
So ladies who read this, don't give up. There are men out there who are perfect, you can find one perfect for you. Men, learn from the words, figure out your flaws and improve on them. Don't assume women only look for bulging biceps or big penises. In honesty, few women give a damn about the size of your dick. After all, what good is a big dick when the pleasure spot is a short way in, not far back?
Yeah, I'm bragging. I got a great guy. And I'm ranting about the ones that suck. Since its got the good and the bad, it qualifies as a review.
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